EP 16: Boosting Your Self-Esteem (Ways to Feel Better About Yourself)


“Divert yourself from negativity and focus on staying positive.”
Randy Haveson (03:14-03:18)


 Can self-esteem be improved? Yes, self-esteem can absolutely be improved. It’s not something you’re born with. It’s not something that just happens. Self-esteem is something that takes work. And for some, it’s easier than for others to build self-esteem. It’s a lot more challenging to build. It’s like looking at any professional athlete. Some people seem to have a talent for it, and some have to work hard at it. But it is possible for anyone. In this week’s episode, Randy Haveson talks about something close to his heart, boosting your self-esteem.


Part One of ‘Boosting Your Self-Esteem (Ways to Feel Better About Yourself)’


No matter where you are on the continuum, no matter where you are in terms of how you feel about yourself and where you fit in the world, self-esteem can always be better. This is something we should all be focusing on, especially with all the uncertainties and chaos around us. So, now is a perfect time to focus on what you can do to help yourself feel better about who you are and where you fit.


“Perspective is about where you want to shift your focus.”
– Randy Haveson (09:24-09:27)


Another part of the self-esteem process is to be patient with yourself. Give yourself loving kindness in the process. When you’re feeling like you’re having a down day, allow yourself to have a down day. You deserve to have some downtime. Won’t you expect people to understand you when you’re feeling low and give you words of comfort that they’re just there beside you no matter what? And if you’re surrounded by people who can be there for you when you’re down, you should be there for yourself as well. Just be there for you and allow yourself to have your good days and bad days.


Look for little ways every day that you can find some gratitude even during your lowest moment. Look for things that are going to brighten your day. Don’t sit in front of the TV for four hours watching all the breaking news of what’s going on with the virus. Instead, look for ways to divert yourself from negativity and look for some things to be positive about.


Part Two of ‘Boosting Your Self-Esteem (Ways to Feel Better About Yourself)’


Right now, everyone is in the process of creating a new normal. And the cool part about creating a new normal is that it’s up to you, you get to create that for yourself. Now, what’s going to happen with that when the dust settles after the whole virus thing? Absolutely no idea. That’s part of the uncertainty. But we get to all recreate ourselves with whatever the new normal is, with your work, with your family, with all the things going on in your life. Things are now different. So, we can either roll with those differences and be like a reed in the wind or be the oak tree where you want things to be the way they were.


When the strong wind comes, the oak tree usually breaks. So, we want to be the reed and bend with the changes. And when it comes to self-esteem, the more self-esteem you have, the more you’re able to adapt to whatever happens around you. So that’s the whole goal of this, to be adaptable, to be okay with the changes no matter what those are. And by taking care of yourself now, you’re going to be better off in the future. So, the whole goal is for you to be as happy as you can be with who looks back at you in the mirror and to feel good about where you fit. You might not even know where you’re going to fit once this whole thing is over.


“Fear is detrimental to building self-esteem.”
– Randy Haveson (12:43-12:54)


Perspective is all about where you want to shift your focus in the things you have or the things you don’t have, the things you’re grateful for, and the things you’re regretful for. It’s about shifting that and moving up that continuum to a higher level of self-esteem and away from ego. Focus on what you can do to help your family, what you can do to help your society, your community; then, you’re going to be much better. If you have friends that you have not spoken to for a long time, why not check how they’re doing right now? This quarantine period is a perfect time to catch up with them.


Lastly, a lot of people are living in fear right now. You can either let your fear consume you, or you can choose to take care of yourself and your family. When you lean into the fear, that can get you off balance and can be detrimental to building self-esteem. So, part of what your part of your journey and what you’re looking to do in feeling better about who you are and where you fit in the world is not to give your fears as much energy as you would before. It’s not about getting rid of your fear and pretending it’s not there. You still have to acknowledge your feelings and recognize what’s going on with you. But again, not feeding it to the point where it becomes bigger and overwhelming. So, let it be what it is. Roll with it. This is a great analogy and a way to look at it too. It’s like swimming in an area where there’s a lot of currents, what you learn is don’t swim against the current, so you don’t end up burning all your energy. And to give you some hope, remember the times you’ve been through some rough times and how you got through it stronger. Stay safe, stay happy, stay healthy, and take time to build your self-esteem.


How to Get Involved:

Hitting the stage internationally, Randy is a welcomed speaker that exudes raw energy fueled magnetic charisma and the
relatability of a best friend. He helps audiences around the country, and the world finds their paths in life and learn the
self-esteem building skills necessary to be positive, productive, and fulfilled members of society.

Find out more about his speaking and consulting firm that helps businesses, schools, and individuals address topics such as
self-esteem, alcohol & other drugs, leadership development, and more.