EP: 11 – Can Self-Esteem Be Changed?


“Who you are on the inside has nothing to do with the number on a scale.”
– Randy Haveson (01:01-01:05)



Can self-esteem can be changed? The answer is yes. It changes all the time. Practice being more conscious of your self-esteem level. It can control whether your self-esteem grows or whether your ego grows.

Our society has sold us a massive lie. Telling us that ego and self-esteem are defined by the label on our shirt, the number on a scale, the kind of car we drive, and the zip code we live in. In this week’s episode, Randy Haveson sheds light on self-esteem.



Part One of ‘Can Self Esteem Be Changed’


Who you are on the inside has nothing to do with a number on a scale. It has nothing to do with your zip code. Many people live in huge mansions but are miserable. Some are happily residing in lower-middle-class families and communities.

Self-esteem and ego are not combined. They’re actually on opposite ends of a continuum. When you reinforce your ego, you deny your esteem. When you build your self-esteem, you deny your ego.


“When you’re strong with who you are and your self-esteem is raised,
life can throw whatever it throws at you and it doesn’t hurt as bad.”
– Randy Haveson (04:18-04:27)


For instance, if someone doesn’t like something about you or didn’t like what you did, there’s a tendency for ego to get in the way. You’ll feel like you have to please everybody. But you have to realize that it’s not your job to please anybody. So, the whole goal is to help you shift down that continuum closer to a higher sense of self-esteem and letting go of that ego, which does you no good whatsoever.

Ego says you have to be perfect or be in control all the time. Self-esteem pushes you to do your best. There’s a beauty that happens when you start to raise your self-esteem. Life takes turns, and it can be great. Sometimes, life can throw obstacles at you, and it can be challenging to get through tough times.

If you’re struggling with something, as long as you maintain a high level of self-esteem, life can throw whatever it throws at you, and it doesn’t hurt as bad. When you’re solid with who you are, and you nourish the four parts of self: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, when you do that regularly, you get stronger.



Part Two of ‘Can Self Esteem Be Changed’


Life can be hard, but you can walk through it. There’s nothing that’s happening today that a year from now could be as devastating as it feels right now. Do you remember back in your life maybe a year or two or five years ago? Something was going on. You questioned how you would get over it. Where are you now? You got over it. So, whatever you’re dealing with today, you’re going to get over that too.


“Anything is possible as long as we get out of our own way.”
– Randy Haveson (18:52-18:54)


The key to finding hope, no matter what’s going on, is to find something to be thankful for. To feel some humility about. Play with your grandkids for a day. Take them shopping. Take them out for ice cream, watch them laugh, watch them smile, feel that joy, and feel that happiness. There are many things you can do, like journaling, making a list of all the things you’re grateful for.


If you feel like you’re struggling to overcome specific challenges, sometimes we face it with the support of others. One of the ways we exercise our mental or emotional selves is by leaning on others and letting them support us, so you’re not alone.


There are people out there who care about others, even if they’re strangers. Anything is possible as long as we get out of our own way. The solutions will happen when we’re ready.




How to Get Involved:
Hitting the stage internationally, Randy is a welcomed speaker that exudes raw energy fueled magnetic charisma and the relatability of a best friend. He helps audiences around the country, and the world finds their paths in life and learn the self-esteem building skills necessary to be positive, productive, and fulfilled members of society.

Find out more about his speaking and consulting firm that helps businesses, schools, and individuals address topics such as self-esteem, alcohol & other drugs, leadership development, and more.