EP: 10 – What Happens When Ego Takes Over


“You don’t have to knock other people down to build yourself up.”
– Randy Haveson (07:26-07:36)



Ego is taking over in the world today. As things become more chaotic, people gravitate towards what feels safer. In this week’s episode, Randy Haveson talks about what happens when the ego takes over.


Part One of ‘What Happens When Ego Takes Over’


The theory about self-esteem and ego is that they’re not connected. Self-esteem and ego are opposites. They’re on opposite ends of a continuum. When we build our ego, we deny our self-esteem. When we develop our self-esteem, we deny our ego. Self-esteem says that you have value regardless of your status in life.


“Leave more room for self-esteem.”
– Randy Haveson (14:10-14:11)


If you compare the janitor and the CEO, both of them do great things that are beneficial for everyone. The CEO may be the boss, but his job doesn’t make the janitor’s job less valuable because cleaners maintain cleanliness. We all have value no matter what our position is in life, from the homeless person to the richest man on the planet. If we’re more self-esteem based on our thinking and actions, how much better would this world be?


As you develop your self-esteem, you’ll notice that ego sometimes gets in the way, and that happens typically. It’s not an easy process because we all have our good and bad days. It works like a stock market. It can fluctuate on a daily basis. But over a period of time it always seems to go up. That’s what we want to do with self-esteem. It’s not about being perfect or getting it right all the time. Give yourself a break and treat yourself like your own best friend. Not your own worst enemy. Be more aware of how ego crops up in your life.


When you notice that your ego is starting to take place, be gentle, and don’t beat yourself up.

As you treat yourself with kindness, it becomes easier to let go of the ego. Sometimes we make giant leaps, but most of the time, we take baby steps.


As you let go of your ego, you start getting more focused on what other people think rather than what you think. What other people think of you is none of your business. It’s a total waste of energy.



Part Two of ‘What Happens When Ego Takes Over’


What other people think of you is none of your business. It’s a total waste of energy. There’s a difference between worry and concern. Be careful about how much worry you have in your life. Start becoming more aware of that. And let’s see if you can shift from worried to concerned. That’s going to make a huge difference in your life.


“Stop caring so much about what other people think.”
– Randy Haveson (09:51-09:54)


When the ego starts taking over, people become more self-conscious. You doubt yourself. You start criticizing other people or knock them down. When something doesn’t work out the way you want, re-evaluate the situation and do something differently next time. It takes some work to build self-esteem. It takes work to have things of value. But it’s worth it, and beautiful things will start to happen.



How to Get Involved:
Hitting the stage internationally, Randy is a renowned speaker that exudes raw, energy-fueled magnetic charisma, with the relatability of a best friend. He helps audiences around the country and the world finds their paths in life and learn the self-esteem building skills necessary to be positive, productive, and fulfilled members of society.

Find out more about his speaking and consulting firm that helps businesses, schools and individuals address topics such as self-esteem, alcohol & other drugs, leadership development, and more.