“We Can All Have Different Core Values and Still Be Together.”
– Randy Haveson (15:17-15:24)
As we develop our self-esteem, we get to develop a core value system that resonates with us. It makes life simpler because every decision you have in your life will come from that value system. In this episode, Randy talks about developing a core value system.
Part One of ‘Developing A Core Value System’
Integrity is one of my core values. So, when I go to the store, and the cashier gives me too much change back, then my integrity says I need to let that person know that they gave me too much change. It’s not even a question, it’s something that I do because my core value is integrity. It means that I live an integrity filled life.
“Don’t judge someone by their external appearance.”
– Randy Haveson (02:23-02:27)
Respect is one of my core values. That means that I treat everybody that I see with respect. I don’t look at someone and judge them by their shoes, by their car, and by the uniform they wear. Respect comes by self-respect first.
When I have respect for myself, then I can have respect for others. It doesn’t happen the other way around.
When I get respect from others, then I can respect myself. I found that this kind of mindset doesn’t work, that it has to start with self. That’s why self-esteem and all the things that come along with that start with the inside work. That’s what makes it so difficult. We look for things that are going to make us feel better on the outside. But that doesn’t work. It’s only a quick fix.
The real happiness that we can have in life comes by finding it inside and then taking it out — living from the inside out rather than from the outside.
Respect for self is one of those key ingredients that helps me to respect those who walk in the world with me. I appreciate them for who they are. I respect them for what they bring. Now when I see someone who’s taking advantage of others and living in an ego state world, I look at these people, and I don’t pity them. Those are the kinds of people that I want to have in my life. I want to fill my life with people who are genuine and authentic. Those who are real and share their hurts as much as they share their joys. People who are real with what’s going on in their lives.
I have people ask me all the time if I have a great day every day. I say no. I have 10 to 15 down days a year, and I allow myself to have those. And when I allow myself to have my down days, if I have enough respect for myself to respect the down as much as the up, then the downs don’t last as long, and they aren’t as intense as they used to be. So, I found that by having respect for myself, by living a life of integrity, then I’m happier. My decision-making process is much simpler, and I’m delighted.
Part Two of ‘Developing A Core Value System’
Your core value system might be different from your spouses, from your friends, and from the people that you share with. You can talk to them about these values but it’s important for you to develop it yourself. Find the ones that kind of harmonize with you more than any other value. And here’s the cool part. It can change. So, even if you develop a core system tomorrow or today, this motivates you to go develop your core value system. Your core value can shift in a month or a year from now. And that’s okay because they’re yours. There’s no right or wrong way to do this. There’s no right or wrong way to develop a value system. It’s very personal to you. So, find the ones that work for you.
Here’s a real-life example. It used to be terrifying for me to start my own YouTube channel and a podcast. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be good enough. Or it wasn’t going to be the quality that I wanted to put out there. And then I realized that if I’m going to walk with integrity, I’m being genuine with who I am. I’m sharing the lessons that I’ve learned over almost 60 years. Even if it’s not perfect. Even if it might not be the best channel out there.
“You can do anything as long as you stay out of your way.”
– Randy Haveson (09:42-09:45)
Hopefully, through the things that I’ve learned, it’ll cut your learning curve down. And that’s the whole purpose of this, to help you in doing that. I still get a little anxious every time I do one of these. But it’s okay to feel anxious. It’s okay to be a bit scared, and I do it anyway. And that’s where the courage comes from. I value respect, integrity, and courage.
I also value honor. I want to be an honorable person in this world. I do it because I enjoy being of service. I enjoy being a positive and productive member of our society. Develop a core system and start living a life with more self-esteem. You’re going to be able to put more positive energy back into the world. What works for you might not work for other people. But that’s okay. You can have different value systems and still be together. Sometimes you put them together, and it becomes brighter.
Do the work for yourself (and share it with others) by DOWNLOADING our 2020 Values List HERE.
How to Get Involved:
Hitting the stage internationally, Randy is a welcomed speaker that exudes raw energy fueled magnetic charisma and the relatability of a best friend. He helps audiences around the country and the world find their paths in life and learn the self-esteem building skills necessary to be positive, productive, and fulfilled members of society.
Find out more about his speaking and consulting firm that helps businesses, schools and individuals address topics such as: self-esteem, alcohol & other drugs, leadership development, and more.